Happy Halloween!

Classic Quote of the Day

"When a horse learns to buy martinis, I'll learn to like horses."

-- Steve McQueen

Errol Flynn beats Johnny Depp as Top Pirate!

From Starpulse.com:

Swashbuckler Errol Flynn has dented Johnny Depp's "Pirates Of The Caribbean" celebrations by being hailed Hollywood's top buccaneer in a new World Entertainment News Network (WENN) poll.

The WENN pirate poll:

1. Errol Flynn As Dr Peter Blood - Captain Blood (1935)
2. Johnny Depp As Captain Jack Sparrow - Pirates Of The Caribbean (2003-2006)
3. Robert Newton As Long John Silver - Treasure Island (1950)
4. Tyrone Power As Jamie Waring - The Black Swan (1942)
5. Douglas Fairbanks As The Black Pirate - The Black Pirate (1926)
6. Charles Laughton As Captain William Kidd - Captain Kidd (1945)
7. Dustin Hoffman As Captain Hook - Hook (1991)
8. Walter Matthau As Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red - Pirates (1986)
9. Robert Newton As Blackbeard - Blackbeard, The Pirate (1952)
10. Wallace Beery As Long John Silver - Treasure Island (1934)

Animation, Anyone?

Because I'm a huge animation fan and I love seeing all kinds of artwork (and secretly wish I could illustrate that well!), I was fascinated by two sites and their female artists:

One is accioBrain! which is a Harry Potter fan-art site. I've been a long-time fan of HP, but looking at Makani's drawings, she's just plain obsessed! Lucky for us, too, because this just gives us more to look at. My favorites are the "sillyness"...where the imagination of Makani runs wild.

The other is Pop Fantastic. The style is a mixture of manga, Disney, and classic art -- making a very chic and very colorful art cocktail. Especially love the "Project Runway" charicatures! The webmistress, Susan, was even kind enough to post about the Lounge with some very kind words on her blog, Pop Fantastic Sugary Lovely. (Which reminded me of what a slacker I've been on the Cocktail Du Jour posts). Hey, Susan, if I'm ever in New York I'm definitely looking you up! (You like Duran Duran, for petesake!)

Disney Animation used to be run solely by male animators (or the "nine old men"). But now there are some great female illustrators and artists out there that should be tapped. Go, girls!

Mee-Yow Thursday

While making The Barbarian and the Geisha (1958), John Wayne apparently became so enraged with director John Huston (who was something of a tough guy himself and was nearly as tall as Wayne but not as massive) that he throttled and punched him out. It is unknown what Huston did to earn the beating, but the director was known to have a mean streak.

Must-See Movie: The Great Race

The Great Race (1965)
The greatest Blake Edwards' film of all time, this movie is packed with stars and the best moments in cinematic history. Sparkly-eyed, immaculate, and white-toothed daredevil, The Great Leslie (Tony Curtis) convinces turn-of-the-century auto makers to hold a race from New York to Paris. Leslie's nemesis, the mustached and shifty-eyed Professor Fate (Jack Lemmon) vows to beat Leslie to the finish line in a wacky car of his own, along with his dim-witted sidekick (Peter Falk). Along the way they meet a voluptuous suffragette (Natalie Wood), are engaged in a huge old-fashioned Western bar fight, fall into a Man in the Iron Mask-type plot, and have a hand in the largest pie fight ever staged on film.

Infused with typical 60's sexual innuendo, Tony Curtis plays the straight man as he woos Natalie Wood cross-country with his cheeky debonair winks (accentuated by the perfect "ping!" sound effects). He fences like Errol Flynn, competes like a gentleman, and stays pristinely white throughout the journey.

The classic status of this movie, however, is due largely to the slapstick -- very reminiscent of Laurel and Hardy. The chemistry between Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk as bumbling baddies is the paradigm of comedy from the time period in which it's framed. Professor Fate is your archetypal early 20th century villian, twirling his black curly mustache. Then he goes from gravelly sneering villian to giggly, child-like royalty with a dual role as the Prince of Pottsdorf. Fate's assistant Max is the superlative performance of Falk. His talent to use his shortcomings is exemplified, as his squinty-eyed face hunchily searches for Fate with that trademark "Pro-fess-ah!!"

Supported by Keenan Wynn, Vivian Vance, Larry Storch, Dorothy Provine, and a plethora of other fabulous character actors, the movie is unlike anything you've seen in Hollywood to date.

March Down the Carpet

Wow, even penguins get to walk the red carpet before I do...

Weekend Recap

If you couldn't tell by the lack of posts lately, I've been sick. I still am sick, actually. A nasty cold and cough. I don't understand... with all the stupid inventions and cures out there, there still is no cure for a dumb cold. I think there's something going around my work because half the office is out sick. They should just shut down the office, tent the building, and fumigate.

I did get to catch up on all my T.V. watching, and I found how really lame daytime television is. I caught Greg Behrendt's show one day, which I thought could be promising: he's the guy who wrote the book He's Just Not That Into You. However, the episode I saw he had a panel of "stars" talking about cheating. It was not only obvious but tedious.

T.V.'s Halloween offerings have brought me into a better mood. [Although the pumpkin I carved on Thursday is already rotten and moldy. Something is wrong with the pumpkin crop this year, apparently.] I watched a bunch of cooking shows for Halloween treats, as well as the Girls Next Door Halloween party, with their cute (yet slutty) costumes. I also watched a bunch of Most Haunted -- one of my favorite shows, and a biography of James Van Praagh, the psychic.

Dyno came over during the weekend. As he watched football, he didn't notice me giving him a full manicure. He finally realized what had happened when he smelled the nail polish. Seeing as how he doesn't own polish remover, he'll be stuck with nice shiny nails for a while. And maybe we won't fight over the remote anymore...

Star Sighting of the Day

Jeff Probst
Guitar Joe and I spotted the "Survivor" host eating at Baja Fresh in Sherman Oaks. He looked kind of wrinkly and pale...guess he hasn't been to any remote filming locations lately.

Mee-Yow Thursday

On the set of Captain Blood, Basil Rathbone didn't get along with Errol Flynn. During their dueling sequence Rathbone reminded Flynn that he was being paid considerably more for his part in the picture than Flynn was.
Then Rathbone deliberately wounded him in the arm (leaving a permanent scar).

"Va Va Voom" Star of the Day

Rita Hayworth
Yesterday was Rita's birthday, so I thought it only fitting to honor her today.

Born in to a family of professional dancers, Margarita Carmen Cansino danced on stage starting at the age of six. Attracting the attention of film producers at the age of 16, Hayworth was signed first by Fox Studios in 1935, then Columbia Pictures in 1937. After a name change from Rita Cansino to Rita Hayworth, two more years of working in B movies, and painful electrolysis to raise her hairline, Hollywood and the public began to take notice.

Rita turned heads when she starred with Cary Grant in Howard Hawks' Only Angels Have Wings. Soon she was in great demand and was borrowed by other studios until her part in Rouben Mamoulian's Blood and Sand with Tyrone Power solidified her new-found stardom.

Incredibly photogenic, Rita was dazzling in Technicolor, and her head of long, flowing hair became her best remembered attribute. The "love goddess" image was cemented with Bob Landry's 1941 Life magazine photograph of her (kneeling on a bed in a silk and lace nightgown), which caused a sensation and became -- at over five million copies -- one of the most requested wartime pinups.

Naturally shy and reclusive, Hayworth was the antithesis of the characters she played. She once complained "Men go to bed with Gilda, but they wake up with me". But those who knew her best knew she was kind, loving, and enjoyed her solitude.

Weekend Recap

The weekend was rather uneventful. I had plans to get together my Halloween costume, buy my plane ticket for Thanksgiving, do laundry, play golf with Guitar Joe and his gal, and maybe watch a little football. The only thing I did on that list was watch football. Not like I sat around like a loaf all weekend, but still -- my To Do List is still as long as ever.

I did get to watch Plan 9 the other night, though, which is fantastic. My buddy Rocky is obsessed with Ed Wood, so he lent me the soundtrack (which is the entire movie in audio). He also is lending me a copy of a Ed Wood documentary, which I can't wait to see. I also Moxied Bride of the Monster which I'll watch this week sometime.

Rocky also suggested I go to Find A Death.com to read all the sordid details about Ed Wood's death. I also like the site because it shows pictures of some Hollywood hot spots with historical value. Very cool!

Must-See Movies: My Favorite Wife & Move Over Darling

For the first time in Lounge history (add pompous fanfare here) I'm endorsing two movies at once:

• My Favorite Wife (1940) with Irene Dunne and Cary Grant, and
• Move Over Darling (1963) with Doris Day and James Garner.

If you mention one movie, you have to mention the other, because the the 1963 flick is a remake of the 1940 film -- and both are excellent.

In both movies, Ellen Arden (Dunne and Day) arrives 7 years after being given up for dead in a shipwreck, to find her husband Nick (Grant and Garner) just remarried. Ellen decides to crash the honeymoon before the marriage can be consummated (ah, the 40's and 60's!) and to surprise her husband. But that's not even the half of it. Nick finds out that while Ellen was stranded on an island for 7 years, she was not alone. As Ricky Ricardo says, "She's got some 'splaining to do!"


I do tend to lean towards the 1963 version of this story for three reasons: 1) the comedy is higher with more pratfalls and slapstick, 2) the supporting roles played by Don Knotts (the shoe salesman), Edgar Buchanan (the judge), and Thelma Ritter (the mother-in-law), and 3) I could watch James Garner in any movie he makes.

Some interesting trivia: The 1963 film was originally titled "Something's Got to Give" and was to star Marilyn Monroe in the lead role. Monroe died before completion and so the movie was reshot entirely and released a year later than originally planned. Also just a year before, Day and Grant starred together in That Touch of Mink. I wonder if in between takes she asked his advice about doing the remake?

Mee-Yow Thursday

Off the set, Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman hardly spoke during the filming of Casablanca. This is perhaps due to two reasons: (1) Bergman was taller than Bogart and perhaps he had an inferiority complex, or (2) Bogart's wife Mayo Methot continually accused him of having an affair with Bergman. Methot often confronted him in his dressing room before a shot, causing Bogart to come onto the set in a rage.

Things to Waste Your Paycheck On

If I had these bacon bandages on a scrape, I'd want to eat my knee. I want to know what made an inventor think, "I know...BACON!" Wait, I say that just about every morning.

Speaking of breakfast, how about the Holy Toast! Miracle bread stamper. You don't have to go on eBay to buy that miracle piece of Mother Mary toast. You can just make your own slice o' heaven at home!

And to spread on top of your Holy Toast...if you're tired of slicing the butter (and who isn't? It's exhausting!) then try the One-Click Butter Cutter. Heck, it's just fun to say.

But an even better miracle...the Answer Me Jesus 8-ball, with responses like "Let me ask my Dad," "I died for this?" or just bluntly "Sinner." (Available in Buddha, too!) Finally, a quick answer to anyone's prayers.

Classic Quote of the Day

"I never trust a man that doesn't drink."

-- John Wayne
(me neither, John!)

Set Your Moxies!

Halloween is drawing nearer and this weekend has some classic flicks for you to Moxi!

On Friday, October 13th, Ed Wood's infamous masterpieces Plan 9 From Outer Space and Bride of the Monster air on TCM back to back.

The following day I Married a Witch, the movie starring Veronica Lake that inspired the TV show "Bewitched," is on TCM.

Check the TCM website or your TV menu for the times in your area.

"Va Va Voom" Star of the Day

Van Johnson
"Va va va Van!" Van Johnson had just started a 7-year contract with MGM in 1942 when he was in a major road accident which left him with a metal plate in his head. Ineligible to serve during WWII, the studio used his all-American boyish looks to become America's war film hero. He was usually opposite June Allyson (I love "The Bride Goes Wild") or Esther Williams (my personal favorite is "Thrill of Romance"), two 'all-American girls' that made movie-goers flock to theaters.

In the 1950s, as middle age and a heavier build set in, he was limited with his roles. MGM also began to crumble, and his film career has been irregular since 1960. His career in the 70's and 80's has consisted mostly of stage work which has kept him under the Hollywood radar.

Although his personal life has been racked with turmoil -- from undergoing treatment for skin cancer to rumors of homosexuality -- Van will always remain timeless and pure on the silver screen. His movies will keep him charming, handsome, and as a great symbol as "the all-American" hero of Hollywood, fighting for our country in World War II.

Interesting Robot Makes Sexist Pigs

So all the guys at work are standing around watching this video of modern Japanese technology.

Apparently this gave them license to say these comments:

"We don't need women anymore!"
"But does she put out?"
"I wonder if they can make her give a BJ."
"Pool your money together, guys. This is on my Christmas list."
"She's smarter than most of the women I've dated."
"If she cleans, I'm in love."
"Just flip her over and use her head as a mop."
"Does she occasionally nag so she's more realistically a woman?"

Strange...if these were racial stereotypes everyone would be freaking out -- or the comments wouldn't even be said. But I guess it's acceptable in my office to slam women. Huh.

Classic Quote of the Day

"I should never have switched from scotch to martinis."

-- Humphrey Bogart

(widely attributed as his last words)

Mee-Yow Thursday

Another catty comment from Bette Davis about long-time rival Joan Crawford:

"The best time I ever had with Joan in a film was when I pushed her down the stairs in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"

Pirates Taking Over Disneyland

Pirates of the Carribean seems to be taking over Disneyland. As if revamping the original ride wasn't enough, now Disney has decided to redo Tom Sawyer's Island (designed by Walt Disney himself) to make way for a pirate-themed walk-through attraction. The PotC island will feature animatronic Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom. More importantly, "the opening of the new Pirates attraction will be timed to coincide with the release of the third 'Pirates of the Caribbean' film next summer."

I'm conflicted about this change. On one hand, as a Disney Traditionalist, I am saddened by the news. Walt Disney didn't build Disneyland as a marketing tool or a money-making industry. He built Disneyland to bring families together, to create the same kind of memories he had when he was a boy.

On the other hand, I understand that not many kids are interested in Tom Sawyer anymore. I also know that Pirates was a huge box-office success for Disney, demonstrating it's strong appeal, and the Disney execs want to keep the turnstiles going. (Maybe they should try lowering the admission price!!) Additionally, it's a great way to tie in to the movie premiere. And Walt also said that Disneyland would "never be finished as long as there was imagination in the world."

But what would Mark Twain say?

Star Wars YMCA

This is practically Lucas blasphemy, but I just wish it was longer.


P.S. Han Solo is hot.

12 Uses for Toothpaste

(the regular-flavored, white type of toothpaste)

*Polish silverware, silver, or gold. Toothpaste will shine up silver and gold. Rinse thoroughly.

*Clean piano keys. Squeeze paste on a damp cloth. Rub the keys well, wipe dry, and buff with a soft, dry cloth. After all, ivory is made from an elephant's tusk.

*Remove ink spots from cloth. Squeeze paste on spot, scrub, and rinse thoroughly.

*Dry up acne pimples. Dab on pimples as you would use Clearasil.

*Remove crayon from walls. Brush the marks with toothpaste on an old toothbrush.

*Remove scratches on glassware. Polish with a dollop of Colgate.

*Deodorize smelly hands. Squeeze an inch of tootpaste into your palm and wash hands under running water.

*Remove Kool-aid moustaches from kids' faces. Rub on and rinse thoroughly.

*Remove tar from the bottom of bare feet. Squeeze on feet and rub.

*Deodorize "sour" baby bottles. Scrub with paste and a bottle brush.

*Remove scuffs on shoes. Apply with a tissue, rub, and wipe off.

*Fill small holes in walls. Use a small dab as emergency spackling to fill in small holes in plaster walls. Let dry before painting.

[Joey Green's Wacky Uses]

I Hate Clowns

I'm not an irrational person. Okay, maybe I am. But when it comes to having an extreme aversion to clowns, I'm not alone. Dear, sweet, comforting Wikipedia tells me that:

Coulrophobia is a mental condition concerning the fear of clowns and mime artists...The most fear-inducing aspect of clowns is the heavy makeup, often accompanied by the bulbous nose and weird color of hair, that conceals the wearer's identity.

Now I find mimes just annoying, but clowns... Oh, man... they scare the living $#!& out of me.

And Bedazzled is kind enough to provide more fuel to my fire with this ad for Band-Aids:

Thanks for the affirmation, Bedazzled! We can now confirm that clowns are the root of all that is evil in this world.

WTF Happened to F$#@ing Good Manners?

I don't know if anyone is aware of this, but there was a time -- not that long ago -- when a woman would enter a room and all the men would stand up and take off their hat. Yeah, seriously. She could be 18 years old or 78 years old, but men would be on their feet when she entered a room.

What I'm saying is Men used to have manners. They used to acknowledge the presence of a woman by refraining from skanky talk, lame innuendo, and swearing.

Well no more.

Lou and I grabbed lunch the other day at a pretty nice establishment. So I'm not talking like Taco Bell, I'm talking cloth napkins and mahogony wood-paneling. But the guys sitting near us were dropping the F-bomb like it was too much to carry. F this and F-ing that. All just inches away from me.

Now I'm not a prude, but this was really bugging me. Here I am trying to have a pleasant three-martini lunch and these strangers are cursing all over the place right in front of me. Worst part of all: I don't know who to blame, the Men for doing it, or the Women for letting it happen.

You watch old movies from the 50's and a woman walks in the room, and all the men stand up. What does the woman say? "No no no, don't get up." And I want to scream, "Shuttup, you crazy broad! Let them stand up!" Over the years women kept saying "No no no, don't get up," or "Oh, don't mind me," when a man would swear. And progressively it's escalated to what we have now: a bunch of cursing, inconsiderate, profane people who don't recognize that the others around them do not want to hear this auditory pollution.

Well, it's time we take a stand. It's one thing to sprinkle a little French while gabbing with the gals, or even in the middle of a co-ed poker game. But doing it loud and proud in a public place amongst strangers is just rude. We should react when a stranger swears in front of us. And if a man stands up, pulls out our chair, or opens the door, we shouldn't say "Oh, that's not necessary." We should say "thank you" for crying out loud. These polite rarities don't happen often, and they should be embraced!

If only everyone in society treated each other with the same respect they did in the movies.