Things to Waste Your Paycheck On

If I had these bacon bandages on a scrape, I'd want to eat my knee. I want to know what made an inventor think, "I know...BACON!" Wait, I say that just about every morning.

Speaking of breakfast, how about the Holy Toast! Miracle bread stamper. You don't have to go on eBay to buy that miracle piece of Mother Mary toast. You can just make your own slice o' heaven at home!

And to spread on top of your Holy Toast...if you're tired of slicing the butter (and who isn't? It's exhausting!) then try the One-Click Butter Cutter. Heck, it's just fun to say.

But an even better miracle...the Answer Me Jesus 8-ball, with responses like "Let me ask my Dad," "I died for this?" or just bluntly "Sinner." (Available in Buddha, too!) Finally, a quick answer to anyone's prayers.