(the regular-flavored, white type of toothpaste)
*Polish silverware, silver, or gold. Toothpaste will shine up silver and gold. Rinse thoroughly.
*Clean piano keys. Squeeze paste on a damp cloth. Rub the keys well, wipe dry, and buff with a soft, dry cloth. After all, ivory is made from an elephant's tusk.
*Remove ink spots from cloth. Squeeze paste on spot, scrub, and rinse thoroughly.
*Dry up acne pimples. Dab on pimples as you would use Clearasil.
*Remove crayon from walls. Brush the marks with toothpaste on an old toothbrush.
*Remove scratches on glassware. Polish with a dollop of Colgate.
*Deodorize smelly hands. Squeeze an inch of tootpaste into your palm and wash hands under running water.
*Remove Kool-aid moustaches from kids' faces. Rub on and rinse thoroughly.
*Remove tar from the bottom of bare feet. Squeeze on feet and rub.
*Deodorize "sour" baby bottles. Scrub with paste and a bottle brush.
*Remove scuffs on shoes. Apply with a tissue, rub, and wipe off.
*Fill small holes in walls. Use a small dab as emergency spackling to fill in small holes in plaster walls. Let dry before painting.
[Joey Green's Wacky Uses]
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