Classic Quote of the Day

Esther Williams, on being typecast:

"All they did at MGM was changed my leading men and the water in my swimming pool."

Scenes From a Balcony: Scene 1

Seeing as how I no longer live in the apartment that overlooks the dumpster, and therefore can no longer witness any Dumpster Drama... I shall now bring you Scenes from a Balcony, as my new apartment now has a balcony that overlooks the street. This required a new graphic. (No, I don't live at the Charles in Charge house. That's what the front of my building really looks like.)

Anyway...on to the story. Scene 1 opens at the nice hour of 7:30 PM. This is when I got home finally. I live less than 15 minutes from work, but I had to stay late. Right when I drive down the street, I hear continuous honking, and I see it's coming from a car parked across the street. (Love the invention of the car alarm, lemme tell ya.)

Fast forward to 3 hours later when I'm ready to go to bed. The car alarm has been going on and off continually every 20 minutes. I've been debating for the last 3 hours on what I should do. Should I plug my ears and go to sleep? Should I call the nearest tow truck company? Should I call the police? Or should I go outside and throw a high-heeled shoe at the windshield out of pure frustration? Finally I make a decision: I don't know the number for the local towing company, but I do know the number for non-emergency police.

The operator has finally answered and by the time she does, I think the car alarm has stopped for good. But I ask her to please send a patrol car out to look in to it. New to the neighborhood, I anticipate a car to come out in about a half hour. None ever came. I guess now I know the type of neighborhood I'm in now. No longer in the plush beachside community I once cherished. I'm in the city -- the real city! With it's car alarms, noisy traffic, and lack of police protection.

Must-See Movie: How to Murder Your Wife

How to Murder Your Wife (1965)
Jack Lemmon stars as Stanley Ford, a cartoonist and confirmed bachelor who has his single life down to a science. His fabulous butler (Terry Thomas) keeps the brownstone in tip-top shape, down to the smallest detail of chilling his martini glass for a nightly cocktail. His cartoons about secret agent Bash Brannigan are authentic, as he acts out the adventures and has his butler take photographs to use later as reference. Ford even says "I'd never have Bash do something that I haven't done myself."

Things change for Ford when he attends a bachelor party for a friend. He gets drunk and wakes up married to the stripper who performed that night (the beautiful Virna Lisi). Even more chaotic, she speaks nearly no English and is determined to reform Stanley's carousing ways.

Ford's cartoon even changes from a secret agent to a household comedy to reflect his new lifestyle. Reaching a crescendo as she completely changes his singleton paradise, he decides to at least give back Bash Brannigan's life. And so he plots to kill off the wife character. However, the real Mrs. Ford disappears, and those who read the cartoons believe he's guilty of murder.

The supporting cast is outstanding: Ford's lawyer (Eddie Mayehoff) and his wife (Claire Trevor) have some of the best lines in the movie. The view of the wives' role in "snaring a man" from the bachelor life is hilarious: women are parodies, with tiny snippy dogs and tons of shopping bags. Don't take it too personally, just remember it's the 60's. I also enjoy the scenes inside Ford's apartment, as I hope to one day have that sort of swinging "bachelor pad" myself; black leather couch and all!

Classic Movie Kissy-Kissy Trivia

The movie with the most kisses in it is Warner Brothers' Don Juan from 1926, starring John Barrymore. In the course of the 167-minute film, he bestows a total of 191 kisses on a number of beautiful senoritas -- an average of one every 53 seconds.

WTF is with Valentine's Day?

I'm not sure what my Valentine's Day is going to be like this year. But I wonder: when did this holiday become so complicated? Maybe if we look at where it came from and what it originally meant we can figure it out.

The History Channel is most proficient in history, so why not start there? Then again Wikipedia is always a good source for a thorough explanation. But the most interesting bit of information is an article posted on How To Get the Guy about what men think of the holiday.

Valentine's Day is not like other holidays. It's not about some historical event or religious celebration. Although it may have started with some historical event, it's all about being in love or having a sweetheart. And when you're in a relationship there are certain expectations -- you want even the smallest gesture from the guy. And when you're single you're reminded that you're alone; you're the one still standing when the music turns off. So why did this holiday about love and friendship turn bitter?

This holiday has become what it is today because of society, and the perceptions of women's role in it. This is why men dislike the holiday so much: they're feeling the backlash from our own hurt and anxiety. Society puts a lot of pressure on women to get married, have babies, and be with someone. Even in the year 2007, living in L.A., and with uncharacteristically supportive parents, I still feel the pressure. The minute you are single, people wonder why. "Are you dating anyone?" is the knee-jerk response when someone sees you alone. And if you get in to a relationship with someone, it becomes "When are you two getting married?" even if it's only your second date. Men don't get this pressure to be paired off -- at least, not as much as women do.

This is not a unique revelation, but maybe it can help us realize that Valentine's Day is what we make of it. If you want to do something special that day, treat yourself and keep the expectations minimal. But if you want to treat it like any other day, you have a lot to contend with from stores, co-workers, and the media. So it's better not to ignore it. Just accept it as another day in the year when Society points their finger and snickers. If you're single, you should be used to it. I know I am.

7 Ways to Charm a Man

Not only does Tack-o-Rama have the best retro fonts, clipart, pictures, and everything else you can imagine...but they have these great magazine articles from the past. What I like about looking back at the 40's and 50's is how it makes me appreciate how far we've come in only 50 or 60 years...

Example: this article from the Coronet magazine from the 1950's (found on Tack-o-Rama):

7 Ways to Charm a Man
1. Your voice must be gentle and warm, then he’ll want to listen to your expressive tones. And you’ll know the value of a soft whisper, but – most important – you’ll know when not to talk.

2. Your laugh….that special little chuckle which is all your own….the toss of your head as you laugh at his jokes….across a crowded room, your secret smile which takes him into your heart.

3. Your hair….blowing freely in the wind, tempting him to run his fingers through….even the little bit that stands straight up and defies attempts to tidy it – it’s endearing and he’ll love it.

4. Your nose….because it’s shiny, although you bemoan the fact and try hard to make the powder stay on….the amusing, lovable way you wrinkle it up when something pleases you.

5. Your attention….because you are a good listener and take an interest in what he has to say, which makes him feel important, also the encouragement you give him when he feels unsure.

6. Your dress….it’s just right for all occasions and you never embarrass him by wearing outrageous styles, colors and trimmings that are fussy and conspicuous….and besides, you walk firmly, with upright, graceful carriage, in ridiculously feminine, high-heeled shoes.

7. Your eyes….because they are so expressive, sparkling with fun or flashing with anger….because they send him charming messages which only he can read, and because they are the windows into which he can look, and always be sure of finding the real You.

Of course, this isn't too far off from a lot of silly beauty magazine articles I see today...

Sweepea-TV: I Just Wanted Some Sushi...

Since I moved to the Valley a couple days ago, Dyno and I had to find a new sushi spot. We immediately went to a place that's caught my eye for a while now. It's not too far from where I live, and it's got a catchy name: Fukyo.

The menu was even more enlightening, and I couldn't help but snap some pictures.
Nestled amongst the normal Spider, Caterpillar, and Vegetarian rolls are the Fukyo Roll and the Fukyo Too Roll. Both very good!