Friday, February 24, 2006

See You Next Thursday

You won't be reading any witty repartee or seeing much of my cleavage around the Lounge for a while... I'll be out until next Thursday (business, not pleasure, unfortunately). Until then, feel free to browse around and make yourself comfortable. Just don't put your feet up on the table. Drives me nuts.


"Va Va Voom" Star of the Day

Louis Prima
Prima's career began in the early 1930's, playing jazz trumpet in the style of fellow New Orleans trumpeter Louis Armstrong. He led his own swing band throughout most of the 30's and 40's, but during the late 40's and early 50's, he played a style of music closely resembling what we call rock and roll today.

Louis Prima was not an imitator of early R&B. On the contrary, many early R&B artists copied Prima. He was one of the only white artists who consistently showed up on the R&B charts in the mid- and late-40's, and many of his songs were covered by black artists. Prima made the charts himself with "White Cliffs Of Dover," "Robin Hood," and "I'll Walk Alone," in 1944 and '45.

Prima also brought life to Las Vegas when he put his act in the casino lounges. Many say this was the highlight of his career, as he was teamed up with first wife Keely Smith, and Sam Butera and the Witnesses. They would improvise the show, jumping from one song to the other, often in mid-tune. Many fans of Prima (like Frank Sinatra and other Vegas performers) would go directly from their show to the lounge just to see them perform. Their lax and comical attitude of classic love songs along with the combination of Prima's high-energy antics with Smith's poker-faced crooning made their popularity soar.

Go Joe!

No, this is not off a package for a G.I. Joe doll, this is what the future in military was supposed to be like.

I can hear the ad: "Let's imagine it's the year 2000! Soldiers are able to individually fly down in to enemy territory, completely undetected!"

Good thing it never panned out. These guys would've made easy targets. But at least they were thinking...

[Courtesy of Plan 59]

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Dumpster Drama: Act X

Act X sounds like it should be an action/adventure flick. [Thanks, Becca, for help with the Roman numerals, btw.] Unfortunately, there were no explosions or flying kicks in this Dumpster Drama, but nonetheless...

The poor tawny-haired girls that live upstairs...*sigh* Sometimes you have to feel sorry for them. They returned from a night out at about 3:00 in the morning, and I awoke to their huge stripper heels clomping up the stairs. Then the door slammed shut.

Not two minutes later, I heard above me loud clomping that got quicker and louder as it headed to the bathroom.

CLOMPCLOMPCLOMPCLOMPCLOMP!! and then bleeeeee-aaaaugh! in to the toilet with a loud SPLASH.

And the second blonde ran in after her: CLOMPCLOMPCLOMPCLOMPCLOMP!! and then she slurred, "Are you okaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy?"

You gotta feel sorry for the first drunk girl because she had to run in such big clompy shoes to the toilet. But of course I feel most sorry for the second drunk girl who was holding #1's hair back the rest of the night.


Begin Early...Shave Yourself

This baby is so ugly that it falls in to the category I like to call "Nightmare Fuel."

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Star Sighting of the Day

Michael Landes and Skeet Ulrich

It was an afternoon of hot brunette actors at Baja Fresh in Studio City, as my eyes took in these two beauties. Mmmm.....

P.S. Skeet looks way hotter in person than in any picture I've seen of him.

It's Not Easy Being Green

I'm not usually a fan of car commercials, but I am a fan of the Muppets. And Ford has put together a new commercial with Kermit the Frog that you can watch on the internet.

In the commercial, not only does he ride a bike (as he has in his movies), but he kayaks and rockclimbs. Even the little "Making Of" featurette is cute.

Design Disaster: Scottish-Style

Lookin' aht this deesine hare, ah found oot whit it all means in mee life!
Ah've learnt a hale new wey o' communicatin'!

This is what happens when you don't Scotch-guard your couch. It just explodes into one big plaid heap that even descends up the walls.

I think I wore an outfit like this when I was 9. Gold buttons and all.


Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Cocktail Recipe Du Jour

The Flirtini
This cocktail was invented and created at Guastavino's for Sex in the City star Sarah Jessica Parker. At a premiere party in May of 2000, Sarah Jessica requested "a fun, pink drink." Quickly, Guastavino's bartender created what looked like a pink martini. After Sarah Jessica indulged in this tasty beverage, she aptly named it the Flirtini. It was then featured on two seperate episodes of the show.

In your iced tin, pour:
1 oz Stoli Raspberry
1/2 oz Triple Sec
1/2 oz Pineapple juice
Splash of fresh lime juice

In a cocktail glass, muddle 4 raspberries, strain the contents of the tin into the glass and float 1/2 oz of sparkling wine or champagne on top.


For the effects of Flirtinis, check out BoozeQuest: The Flirtini on SorryIGotDrunk.

Do it For Your Country

You can just hear the Village People's "In the Navy" pulsing through this poster. Why didn't the ad just say, Hey, Tootsie Roll! Want a bigger ding-a-ling? Join the Navy!

[Live Journal/Vintage Ads]

Tuesday's This & That

Had a great three-day weekend! Got drunk 2 out of 3 of them. At any rate, I went out Friday night on a third date with Dyno, but I don't know if it would fall into the Adventures in Dating category, because everything went too well. Could this be the end of my adventures in the world of first dates? Guess we'll have to stay tuned...

According to Google, we're ironically the #1 place to go to find the Absolut Man.

I saw a movie with Crystal Bernard over the it just me or does she look a little different than she used to on "Wings"?

For some reason I got sucked in to watching The Bachelor: The Women Tell All Special last night. Maybe because my upstairs neighbors were playing Green Day music on full blast all night long. Anywho, I guess there's two women left, and one we're supposed to hate and one we're supposed to love. It all comes down to the Girl Next Door vs. the Slut - just like in the real world. This is why I've decided to become both. Now I just have to figure out how.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Happy President's Day!

President's Day is this Monday, which means a national holiday, which means there's no work that day, which means a three-day weekend! Whoo-hoo! So let's have a teeny history lesson for the day, shall we?

The original version of the holiday was in commemoration of George Washington's birthday in 1796, the last full year of his presidency. By the early 19th century, Washington's Birthday had taken a hold in the American experience as a true national holiday. Some events included Birthnight Balls in various regions, speeches and receptions given by prominent public figures, and a lot of celebration in pubs throughout the land.

Apparently, while the holiday in February is still officially known as Washington's Birthday to many, it has become popularly (and, perhaps in some cases at the state level, legally) known as President's Day. This has made the third Monday in February a day for honoring both Washington and Lincoln, as well as all the other men who have served as president.

On Presidents Day I don't really do much to celebrate...I just thank God that I don't have to run the country - or go to work. Maybe this year I'll get really super drunk - for the President, of course.

Friday's This & That

Driving to work (late, mind you) I had to pull over for a firetruck. The truck blazed past me on the right and then swung in front of me, flipping a U-turn. Then they went towards the exact direction they had come from. I guess firefighters sometimes get lost too.

Another question...Is there a black market out there for hot prosthetic limbs? I wonder if there's some trenchcoated man in an alleyway saying, "Psst - Hey, buddy, you want a leg?"

*cheesy announcer voice* You too could win really Chitty merchandise! Man, I love that movie.

When I grow up I want to be a real pin-up girl and have a website like this.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Stupid Prank Calls

When I don't recognize the phone number, I don't answer it and I let it go to voicemail. Well, I'm getting random calls on my cell phone lately, and no one leaves a voicemail which makes things even more bizarre. But I guess other people are experiencing this problem too.

Apparently the numbers (402) 572-7581 and (866) 689-4118 are some service numbers for Comcast or Adelphia or something. The first number gives me a busy signal, but the second number I actually got some automated Adelphia service thingie.

But the last number I can't figure out. I'd hate to show it here because when I called it, it was a real guy's pager number. I don't know why people can't just leave a galdarn message when they call.

Well... 1/3 of a mystery solved.

Dumpster Drama: Act IX

I'm not very good with the Roman numerals, and I'm starting to run out of an idea of what comes next... Anywho, another Dumpster Drama occurred in the carport area outside my bedroom window. This time it was at 1:30 AM.

I heard a car pull in to a space and then someone got out of the car. Then I heard a male's voice greet the two blonde girls that live upstairs who were walking through as well. The male voice was that of none other than Resident Himbo Carl.
"Hey, ladies," he said in his super suave way.
"Hi Carl," they replied in unison.
"Hey you guys just getting in?" They must have nodded. "Well you still look hot, even at this time of the night."
The girls giggled softly but didn't respond.
"Hey," he went on, "My friend - he works at Dreamworks with Steven Speilberg - he's throwing a party tomorrow night. You guys wanna go?"
"Okay," they said, giggling more.
"Sweet," he said, chuckling. "Night."
I rolled over in bed and thought about the conversation. First of all, any time I hear Carl speak it is something to muse over. Secondly, the half-compliment he gave was amusing: "even at this time of the night" the girls "still" looked hot.

Lastly, the fact that he had so obviously name-dropped. I mean, if Steven Speilberg was going to be at the party, that'd be one thing. But to say that his friend who is throwing the party works at Dreamworks (with Steven Speilberg) was such a blatant attempt at trying to impress the girls, that it was almost sad.

It made me wonder if, for all his arrogance and posing around the apartment building, if deep down he was just insecure and unsure about himself as the Average Joe. And that thought made me feel a little sorry for him. ...But we'll see how long that feeling lasts.


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Meat Rules! Again!

Meat rules over all again!

Oh wait, this isn't real meat.
But it is a square meal. (rimshot!)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day!


Star Sighting of the Day

Keith David
From "Barbershop," "Platoon," "There's Something About Mary," and "Crash," I spotted this actor having lunch at Mexicali in Studio City. Perhaps he was taking his sweetie out for a Valentine's Day lunch? Dunno. At any rate, he looked just as serious as he does in this picture.

Tuesday's This & That

After a weekend of watching darkness and blood (Matrix, Pulp Fiction, Se7en, Resevoir Dogs...) I've been really in the mood for fluffy and mellow stuff. So that means a strict diet this week of Spongebob Squarepants, Futurama, and Esther Williams' movies. It may make me a little more spacey and peachy-keen, so excuse the puppy dogs and rainbows.

Since not all of you are single out there, I've talked my friend Honey into writing up some of her anecdotes about marriage and motherhood. She'll be the Lounge's roving reporter as she delves into suburbia and moments of housewife desperation. Look soon for her recurring feature, which will be called Honey! I'm Home!

I read yesterday that Catherine Deneuve will be honored at a Bangkok Film Festival, and it reminded me of some reading I did on her last month. My friend Bobby says he has a huge crush on her, and he made me look at some of her younger pictures. Since doing so I've thought that if they were going to do her life as a movie (like Hollywood is doing with everyone now), they better cast Gwenyth Paltrow to play her.

What do you think?

Friday, February 10, 2006

Ocean's Eleven: The Original

Found this great desktop wallpaper on TCM and thought I'd share...

You can't beat the original Rat Pack, although George Clooney and Brad Pitt are definitely nice to look at, too. Formatted at 1024 x 768.

Dumpster Drama: Act VIII

Tonight's Dumpster Drama started at 7:15 in the PM. I heard a car pulling in to the carport outside my bedroom window. Then I heard a second car.

My apartment carport is not the biggest area in the world for one car, let alone two, so I leaned out my window to see how they were going to deal with this. I saw that it was two cars with a woman in each, but the second car had a child in the back seat.

The woman in the first car got out and said, "Um, maybe if you back out a little I can turn into my spot and then you can go."

The second woman (the one with the kid) got out of her car and said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing? Where the f*** did you learn how to drive?"

At this point people started peering out their windows along with me. I keep looking at the kid in the backseat, watching his mom drop the F bombs left and right.

"How the f*** am I supposed to park here? How long have you lived in this f***ing country, motherf***er? This is f***ing ridiculous!"

And the other woman said, "Are you kidding me with this?" and got back in her car.

Finally someone from the window next to me shouted, "Hey - what kind of mother are you using that kind of language in front of your kid?"

Now realizing the entire building was watching and listening to her, she looked up at the windows and pointed randomly, shouting, "You're a motherf***er, too! You're all motherf***ers!" Then she got into her car and pulled out of the carport.

I wondered how the conversation with her child proceeded following this display. But then I thought: with a mother like that, he's probably used to it.


"Who Wants to Have Some Fun?"

TBS has put together a TBS Department of Humor Analysis where you can help them in their research of what is truly funny.

My favorite is the Survey where you can watch a clip from "Seinfeld" in any language you choose (I chose Mountain-style...hilarious). You then must determine which is funnier.

I also enjoyed making desktop wallpaper of a bunch of bananas. (Took a while to process, though.)

[Thanks to pixie for directing me to it!]

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Wednesday's This & That

...or WTF is on the Internet Today?
Is that Sarah Racey-Tabrizi, formerly on America's Top Model (Cycle 2) on a MySpace Ad for University of Phoenix?

"Yikes." That's all you can really say about a recipe for cat crap. [The Sneeze]

Roseanne has decided to continue her crotch-grabbing, spittin' music career by putting together a song-filled video for children. [Very Big Blog]

The Bettie Page movie trailer - sorry, the Notorious Bettie Page movie trailer. [Popcrush]

It's still undetermined if that couple in the car are doing what you think they're doing in front of that kid.

It's a neat-o animated Errol Flynn fan site - in full sound and color (not Terror-scope, unfortunately, but nonetheless...).

Oh man, I'm gonna have another doozy of a date to tell you about... Look for another Adventures in Dating very soon!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Star Sighting of the Day

Nathan Fillion
This is what I love about the take off during your lunch hour to go grocery shopping and you spot a random, smokin' hot TV actor pushing his own cart through Ralph's.

Best part was he was dressed in a muscle shirt and a cowboy hat. Only in SoCal.

Oh yeah, and he smiled at me. Mmmm...

Tuesday's This & That

So I took yesterday off because I was a teensy bit hungover from a mad Super Bowl Party I went to. Didn't watch a second of the football game, the commercials, or the Half-time Show, but I caught some of the Puppy Bowl and lost $10 of Captain Kitchen's money playing Texas Hold-em.

Anyway, yesterday I zoned out on the couch trying to recoup and by 10:00 PM I was wide awake, so I caught a bit of ABC's The Bachelor in Paris. Not to be rude, but does this guy have Parkinson's Disease? Because his head trembles more than Michael J. Fox. And who drinks wine out of teacup??

Also thanks to an anonymous commenter, I was able to find the Absolut Vodka commercial I was talking about.

Steve McQueen is just so yummy. Only he can wear a blue turtleneck under a blazer and still look like hot stuff.

Look for another Adventures in Dating soon!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Cocktail Recipe Du Jour

With the Super Bowl this weekend, I thought I'd make up something for you that's rich in alcohol content and just the right color...

The Super Bowl Cocktail
In an iced tin, pour:

1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz Rum
1/2 oz orange juice
1/2 oz of lime juice
splash of Gin
1 dash of sugar
Shake and strain into a cocktail glass
Float 1/2 oz Galliano on top
Garnish with pineapple flag or cherry

Cheers! ...and go team!

More Commercial Cannibalism

Along the same lines as my previous rant on a pig ad, there are these ads from the 50's.

Here we have the Valleydale pigs who have sold out to sell bologna, bacon, and other pork products by singing and dancing. I can practically hear them: "Eat me! Eat Uncle Charlie! Eat Grandma!"

Although they are charming in their vintage quality, I still wonder what these ad executives are thinking. It's enough to make me want to stop eating meat for about 5 seconds.

[Finder's props to Lileks]

Thursday, February 02, 2006

1,000 Visitor!

Congratulations to our 1,000 Visitor from Vancouver, British Columbia, who stayed for 0 seconds to read about the Puppy Bowl!
Sorry that the Lounge can't give you anything as a gift but more cleavage and witty repartee...

Puppy Bowl II

If you aren't in to football that much or you just get sick of men running around in tight pants getting all sweaty....

Hmm...where was I?

Oh yeah, the Puppy Bowl. On Animal Planet they're having their second annual Puppy Bowl on February 5th (Super Bowl Sunday) starting at 3 PM, complete with a Kitty Half-time Show!

On screen are puppies playing and tackling, and the occasional referee breaking up some "fouls". Sometimes there's even a shot from the Bowl Cam.

For a preview of this year's event, go to the Puppy Bowl video site and see some upcoming plays. And the accompanying Dixieland music is fantastic! (Just click on the word "continue" below the intro text.)

My money's on the white poodle.

[Finder's props to VeryBigBlog]

Okay, I'm hooked. I picked my favorite clips from the video and made a little montage. And I got a snapshot of the Kitty Halftime Show. Will someone buy me a gall-darn puppy already??

Who Counted All the Eyes?

Whoever he was, he's probably been fully digested by now.
...And what's "Terror-scope"? And how did the Beast get billing on the poster??

[Courtesy of LiveJournal/Vintage Ads]

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Must-See Movie: Harvey

Harvey (1950)
Jimmy Stewart plays Elwood P. Dowd, a simple man who frequents bars and makes friends with derelicts (sounds like my buddy Lou). But even more unusual is his invisible friend, a 6' 3 1/2" white rabbit named Harvey.

Those most affected by Dowd's tall furry friend are his sister and niece that he shares a house with. Josephine Hull (also from Arsenic and Old Lace - another Must-Rent Movie) plays his frantic sister who's trying to put him in a mental institution. But when she drops him off, the medical staff thinks that she's crazy and comedy ensues.

This movie was adapted from a play, and is therefore very conversational - there aren't real action scenes - but it's fast-paced due to it's quick wit and comedic timing. Especially good are the moments when Dowd and Harvey are together, as the camera has allowed enough room for both to be in the frame.

One of the best lines from the movie that I strive to live by is spoken by Jimmy Stewart:
Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. And you may quote me.
We will, Jimmy. We will.

Mmmm...Sliced Pig...lawlawlawl...

I never understand ads where the food wanted to be eaten; the two chickens wanting to be Foster Farms chickens, for example...but this ad takes the cake.
Have you lost your appetite? Because I have. Oh wait, now it's back. I want bacon!