Time for another Dumpster Drama. Yesterday morning at 3 AM, I awoke to the sound of the back gate rattling. Then suddenly I heard a high-pitched "Caarrlll??" I assumed that this whiny chick's voice was addressing our resident himbo, Carl. A second time she wailed "Caarrrll??"
I rolled over in bed and pounded my pillow, frustrated. But then I realized something that made me laugh. I wonder if she knew that the gate is always unlocked? Yes, although there is a large sign that reads "This gate shall remain locked at all times," people always jam stuff in the lock to keep it open 24/7. She was so busy rattling the gate she didn't try to turn the effing knob. Not only that, the front entrance to the building doesn't even have a gate. It's just a walkway.
Stupid is as stupid does...for after a few more wails of "Caarrll??" resident himbo Carl did not yell back at her to walk the eff around to the front gate, nor did he tell her to turn the stupid knob. Instead the knuckle-head threw his keys out the window to her.
Laughing to myself, but glad that dumb and dumber settled the unlocked gate debacle, I was content to go back to sleep.
But not 2 minutes later I heard pounding on the himbo's front door. "Caaarrlll???"
I finally fell asleep, thinking how - no matter how brainless, ugly, or completely useless you are - it's comforting to know that there is someone out there who is your perfect match.
Relive the drama from Act I.