Monday, July 31, 2006

Monday's This & That

Oh poop, I'm supposed to be working. But I'm just too bored. There's so much to look at on the internet when I come in Monday mornings - gotta catch up on the weekend's gossip and mindless rubbish that floats around the internet like trashy cyber flotsam.

I watched Monster-a-Go-Go last night, via my new Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVD's. The worst ending to a monster movie with the word "Monster" in the title is to have a narrator tell you, "There was no monster." So just forget the last 70 minutes you just wasted, will ya?

I got the book "Sex and the City" by Candace Bushnell, which is nothing - repeat, NOTHING - like the TV show. Okay, not true. There are some character names that are the same. But I haven't read of a single martini embibement. Not to say that the book isn't fun, mindless fluff. It's just not the HBO show, that's all.

I also watched the new Sci-Fi "reality" show Who Wants to Be a Superhero? In two words: pure genius. I'll be watching it every Thursday night, rooting for Major Victory, who has mastered the art of posing - especially to pigeons.

Weekend Recap

I played nine holes of golf on Saturday - first time ever playing golf. We played at the Los Feliz course off of the 5 freeway, where Jon Favreau plays Ron Livingston in the movie "Swingers." It's a great course - nice and small - and the guy is very accepting of you drinking beer on the course. As long as you give him one.

Dyno and I played against Guitar Joe and his chick, and we only lost by four strokes. So either we're all brilliant at golf or we all suck. The last hole was the worst for me. I must've whiffed it about 10 times before chipping in to the bushes. I threw the club, then took of my shoe and threw it, and then proceeded to shout out the name of every deity.

That is when I officially fell in love with the game.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Bob Ross Friday

Lulling you gently in to the weekend, artist Bob Ross (the Mr. Rogers of the art world) shows us how to paint a waterfall scene. (Part One of Two)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Mee-Yow Thursday

Rock Hudson said about Julie Andrews:
"There's nothing that I wouldn't say to her face -- both of them."

Thursday's This & That

Okay, I've gone to the dark side. To cut some calories but still get my soda fix, I decided to switch from Coke to Diet Coke. And I have to say, it's not that bad. It's not Coke, but at least it's not Dr. Pepper. So yes, ladies and germs, I am a Diet Coke drinker now. (You've won, Pixie.)

Major Dumpster Drama: soon there will be no dumpster or drama! They're leveling my beautiful building full of memories and histrionics to make way for condos! So within the year I will be a homeless little Sweepea...

Yesterday we had a Team Building meeting at work. To sum it up in one word: LAME. It almost sounded like we'd be practicing our cheers and working on our pyramid for the Homecoming game half-time show. But no, we were taught skills of "how to be a great team player" and "better communicate within our department" yada yada yada.... I don't understand why executives think that a "Let's all be friends" mentality is realistic. It's just too much fun to gossip and listen to rumors.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


My Mom Felt Like Responding...

(From a California Girl):

Rule #1. DO complain about how hot it is. It makes you feel better admitting how miserable you are and sharing the misery.

Rule #2. As much as possible, do talk about it! That's how you find out how others cope with the heat.

Rule #3. Go to the Mall. It's so cool there and shopping is so therapeutic.

Rule #4. Go to the movies and wear something cute.

Rule #5. Turn on your air conditioning or all of your fans and sit next to an ice cold pitcher of margaritas. AAAHHHH!
This is so typical of my parents' dad's all about suffering in silence, my mom is all about commiseration.

I love my parents.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

My Dad Just Emailed Me This...

(from an ol’ desert rat):

Rule #1: Do not complain about how hot it is. It won’t do any good and will only make you feel hotter.

Rule #2: As much as possible, do not even talk about how hot it is.

Rule #3: Try not to even think about how hot it is.

Rule #4: Remember how miserably cold and wet you were last winter (and probably will be next winter).

Rule #5: Imagine how nice this temperature is compared to how it will be when Global Warming really sets in.

Rule #6: Remember the Rules for Life in the Military (see below).

(from an ol’ sea dog):

Do not run when you can walk.

Do not walk when you can stand still.

Do not stand when you can sit.

Do not sit when you can lie down.

Do not stay awake when you can go to sleep.
My dad, the philosopher...

Monday, July 24, 2006

I Always Thought This Show Was Underrated...

Romance Cheese Fri--er, Monday

Sorry I forgot about this one on Friday. I was too excited to skip work early and go see Pirates. Anyway, this week's romance novel exerpt comes from The Jealous Heart:
He couldn't wait any longer to hold her. He pulled her close and buried his nose in her hair. Her scent was intoxicating, almost animalistic, and it made his heart stop and his body quiver.
Sounds like girlfriend needs to wash her 'do.

Friday, July 21, 2006

The Good Ol' Disneyland Days

Oh, how I miss them...

P.S. I especially miss Walt Disney...the man, the vision, the imagination. *sniff*

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Mee-yow Thursday

After Kris Kristofferson worked with Barbra Streisand in "A Star is Born" (1976), he said that "working with Barbra almost cured me of movies. It's like sitting down to a picnic in the middle of a freeway."

Memories of Steve McQueen

Steve Crump of the Twin Falls Times writes about some great Steve McQueen moments:

My wife and I spent a few days in Ketchum, celebrating our anniversary. It was very romantic — especially the part about Steve McQueen’s tractor.

Sitting in the parking of our hotel was a well-used Farmall. I know this because my dad used them in an always expensive and often futile attempt to till eastern Idaho. One of the employees of the hotel told us that this particular Farmall had been on the premises since it had been purchased from the estate of actor Steve McQueen, who died in 1980. The fellow explained that there had been longstanding plans to restore the machine, and he said some other stuff too. But I don’t remember much after he started talking about engines and Steve McQueen.

McQueen, you see, left behind a Porsche 917, a Porsche 908, a Ferrari 512, a Ferrari Lusso Berlinetta, a Jaguar-D and a Porsche 356 Speedster. And he was responsible for two of the defining moments in the lives of most American males born before 1955.

The first came in a 1963 movie called “The Great Escape” in which McQueen played an American prisoner of war in Germany during World War II. McQueen escapes and is cornered by soldiers against a barbed-wire fence along the Swiss border.

By backing up quite a long ways and making a good deal of noise, McQueen’s character tries to jump the fence to freedom. It doesn’t work out, but who cares? Cool was born that day.

Later, McQueen portrayed a California cop named Bullitt in a film of the same name. Frank Bullitt loved to drive muscle cars — it was 1968 — at high rates of speed over the largely vertical streets of San Francisco in pursuit of badder guys with even heavier feet.

The movie’s director, Peter Yates, recalled that he was riding with McQueen during one especially harrowing chase scene.

“Steve, we’re running out of room!” Yates shouted.

“Pete, we’re running out of brakes!” McQueen replied.

Suffice it to say that Steve McQueen could have been elected president six or seven times. And that 26 years after his passing, the mere mention of his name in connection with things that go fast is enough make the heart of a risk-averse, thoroughly tame 54-year-old Subaru Outback owner go pitter-patter.

At dinner that evening, Victoria caught me gazing out the window at the silhouette of the Pioneer Mountains in the setting sun.

“You’re not thinking about us!" she fumed. “You’re thinking about how tall a barbed-wire fence you could jump on Steve McQueen’s Farmall!”

Point taken, but it could have been far worse.

I didn’t actually have to sleep on the tractor that night.

1971, When Disney Commercials Were Scary

Is this ad supposed to make me want to go to Disney World? Because it's just a bit too freaky.

Someone answer the poor girl already!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Julie London sings "Daddy"

Thanks to Bedazzled Blog, we can watch Julie London in all her sultry goodness.

For more of these Scopitones (the 1960's French version of MTV) visit the Scopitones Blog. It'll give you wicked flashbacks.

P.S. I love the swimsuits...and the dancing.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Just Had to Vent...

A little tip...before you pass on rumors and other crap through email, check it up on Snopes, yo.

Kel Mitchell is NOT dead. Now leave the poor guy to his Jamba Juice.

Weekend Re-cap

I'm back from the north! The weather was beautiful and I had a great great GREAT time! Here's the long and the short of it:

Friday I landed in (A) Oakland ("O-town! Whoot whoot!") and was met by some of Dyno's family who drove us to the Russian River (B). There I stayed in this strange, Bates-Motel-ish place that had a crackwhore as a housekeeper. When I showed up my room door was wide open and the bolt on the door didn't work. Needless to say, it freaked me out.

Saturday I woke up at dawn to hear the couple in the room next to me fighting. My room was on the corner, and they took their argument into the hall and then around to the deck which was under my window. They argued for about an hour and a half and then proceeded to throw each other's clothes out the window. Finally I couldn't stand it any longer - I had to see what they looked like. Yep, just as I thought - boyfriend had a mullet and girlfriend was about 9 months pregnant.

Later that day I was driven by shuttle (or was to be later called "The Party Bus") to a wedding in Sonoma (C). The wedding was beautiful, and I don't know if it was the 6 vodka-cranberries or the romance surrounding me, but I was bawling by the day's end. I sneakily went to the restroom when the bridal bouquet was tossed - didn't want Dyno to get any ideas if I had caught the damn thing.

That night we went back to the Bates Motel at the River (B). I slept in way too late (yes, hungover). And that afternoon I was driven to San Francisco (D) where I met up with more family and friends, especially my dear sweet college roommate from days gone by. I missed my little Budgie!

Yesterday morning, I was driven back to Oakland (A) to catch an afternoon flight back to La-la Land. It felt like I was in a car most of the time, but I had a great time nonetheless. And I have yet to unpack.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Thursday Thoughts

Advice of the Day:
Boys or men who are balding or have receding hairlines should not attempt the faux-hawk.

Smells the Same, Does the Same Job:
Bath & Body Works© Sweepea Shower Gel
= 10 fl. oz. at $9.50

Suave Naturals© Sweepea & Violet Body Wash
= 12 fl. oz. at $3.79

New to My 'To Do' List:
Invent a cute and clever word for a mutt like Labradoodle, Puggle, or Chiweenie, and then buy one and be trendy.

Mee-yow Thursday

Alan Ladd said working with Sophia Loren in "Boy on a Dolphin" (1957) was like being "bombed by watermelons."

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Wednesday's This & That

Is this week dragging for anyone else? Maybe it's just me - I'm so excited about going away this weekend to San Francisco, I can barely stand it. Or maybe it's just the nice warm L.A. weather that's making me anxious to get the eff outta the office.

Every time I go to the drug store, I can't help but buy another tube of chapstick. So today I was cleaning out my purse and I found four tubes of the stuff. What am I gonna do with all this chapstick? I wondered. And then I found out...chapstick has a lot of uses.

Okay, enough rambling. It's humpday after all. Why not watch a Sesame Street segment about Humpty Dumpty?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Dumpster Drama: Act XV

So I went out with the girls last night and had some margaritas. When I got home I fell into bed and passed out. About 2:30 in the AM the new guy who lives in the formerly occupied space of the alcoholic man came home with two of his buddies. "Well, we made it," he said, and his buddies chuckled as they clomped upstairs.

I settled back to sleep when suddenly I heard a huge SPLASH!! In my half-drunk, half-asleep stupor, I thought my toilet was overflowing. But when I followed the continual splashing noises, I realized someone was in the pool.

It was the new guy.


In the buff.

I peeked through the blinds and then wondered how long I could stand there peeking before someone noticed me. After another moment of thought, I finally went back to bed. Apparently someone was drunker than I was.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Anything? ANYthing??

Wow, a man who will do the dishes! He really will do anything for cookies. Does anyone else think this would make a great t-shirt? [Plan 59]

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Decorate Like it's 1999!

Apparently this is what 1999 was supposed to look like in the world of interior design. HAL would fulfill your every whim from your odd chair/console center. (Of course, he'd eventually take over the whole household and create a mutiny with the dishwasher.) And I bet if you sit on the chairs in the foreground you'd roll off the back immediately.

The one saving thing in this whole monstrosity is the dotted orb decorations around the console. I'd make fish bowls out of them. [Lileks]

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Wednesday's This & That

How was everyone's weekend? Mine was delightful. Now let's see what's going on around here...

Funny. Both Brad Pitt and Vince Vaughn are battling for Steve McQueen items being auctioned off. I see that Jenn Aniston has a dating pattern: she loves men who love the King of Cool. Right on, sister! I hear ya on that one.

With the trend leading to pirates this summer, you might want to check out two of my favorite pirate flicks: Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk - both starring my #1 swashbuckling cad, Errol Flynn. Both only $13.99 on Amazon, yo.