Rejuvenique Serial Killer Mask™

Rejuvenate before trekking through the woods in search of over-sexed camp counselors! Be energized for lugging around that heavy chainsaw! Watch as your eyes twitch in preparation for a relaxing blood bath!

Stupidity Unleashed

Here's yet another commercial that made me cringe in disgust. A young boy is playing "Sonic Unleashed" in a dark room while his mom walks aimlessly in the background. As the moon is revealed through the clouds, the boy inevitably turns in to a werewolf. And if that weren't weird enough, the last shot has him go after the cat. Creepy!

Two Commercials I Hate Right Now

Jack in the Box not only makes men in to big babies, but has a woman pushing the double stroller. I don't know which is more idiotic.
And for some reason, Axe deodorant spray turns a man in to chocolate. And even weirder, women everywhere go ape shit over him. Nightmare Fuel, party of one!

The Scariest Bike Safety Film You'll Ever See...

"One Got Fat"...why is it called that? You'll see...

Got Nightmare Fuel?

With all the great and not-so-great Super Bowl commercials on last night, I thought I'd remember this commercial I absolutely always HATED!! Scares the bejeebus outta me!!

...especially this frame:

Nightmare Fuel o' Yesteryears

Okay, I know there's something irrational about this, but when I was little I was terrified of this typewriter guy from "Sesame Street." Maybe it was his eyes, or his innocent yet menacing humming. Or maybe it was because his wheels squeaked. Who the hell knows. But it always made me cry when it came on the TV.

Thursday's This & That

Come an' get a thick, heaping bowl of This & That!

A recent survey conducted in London confirms that no one likes clowns. (Just as an aside, I considered using a 'scary clown' picture here, but when looking for clown pictures, I came across some that were so disturbing that I couldn't even use them as an example of a scary clown. Nightmare Fuel, party of one!)

Also something to freak you out...a girl donning a leash who calls herself her fiance's pet gets booted off the bus, then gets an apology from the city for discriminating against her beliefs. What???

To get those disturbing images outta your head, how about looking at the trailer for Mamma Mia? Can't wait for this flick!

Nightmare Fuel o' the Day

Due to my own personal encounter with a monkey (long story I must save for another day), this ad for bicycles makes me cringe.[Live Journal/Vintage Ads]

Why I Hate McDonald's

This could be the creepiest McDonald's commercial ever. Even creepier when you realize that Willard Scott is playing Ronald McDonald.

Sweepea-TV: Holiday Party Swap

They say it's the thought that counts, but who are they kidding? I want to see what free loot I get this year through the company. In true holiday spirit, we did the traditional steal-the-present-game in our department. I always open up the one present that is not really crappy, but not good enough for anyone to steal. This year I got a Paint By Number Kit. Not too bad -- I like to paint. But this box held a deep, dark secret.

It looks innocent enough, right? A nice peaceful picture of the Eiffel Tower -- yours for the painting.Eight vintage masterpieces -- all mine to create, frame, hang, and impress my friends!
But what are these 8 works of art that I would create? The back of the box reveals the truth...
A CLOWN! And a scary one at that. Being a coulrophobic there was no way I could complete all 8 of these masterpieces. I would have to stop at the bowl of flowers and then dash the remains into the fireplace.

The big company party is tonight. Maybe I'll get a company umbrella like I did last year.

I Hate Clowns

I'm not an irrational person. Okay, maybe I am. But when it comes to having an extreme aversion to clowns, I'm not alone. Dear, sweet, comforting Wikipedia tells me that:

Coulrophobia is a mental condition concerning the fear of clowns and mime artists...The most fear-inducing aspect of clowns is the heavy makeup, often accompanied by the bulbous nose and weird color of hair, that conceals the wearer's identity.

Now I find mimes just annoying, but clowns... Oh, man... they scare the living $#!& out of me.

And Bedazzled is kind enough to provide more fuel to my fire with this ad for Band-Aids:

Thanks for the affirmation, Bedazzled! We can now confirm that clowns are the root of all that is evil in this world.

Should I Succumb to the Nightmare Fuel?

Ever since Lou's post the other day with the kid slipping through the thrill ride/bungee jumpy thingie, I've been having daydream-type nightmares of having an accident on a rollercoaster. Thanks a lot, Lou!

Because I'm a sick morbid person who likes to be scared $#!tless, now I'm wondering if I should rent Final Destination 3. I mean, the whole point of a horror/thriller movie is to play on our fears and enjoy them, to some extent, right? Right?? But then I found this video on YouTube...it's a scene from the movie.



I think I'll stick with Esther Williams flicks for a while.

WTF is with the Fuzzy Brownie??

Is anyone else freaked out about the bizarre new product from Domino's Pizza? The commercial has a life-size plush brownie peddling their new dessert...but -- I'm getting disturbed just describing this -- it's a midget in a fuzzy brown box. And when the mother who answers the door pets the Fuzzy Brownie, she gets brown goo all over her. And then a little girl comes to the door and HUGS the thing and she's covered in brown goo! AAAUGGHHH!! *shudder*

There is nothing -- absolutely nothing -- appetizing about this commercial. What makes the fuzzy brownie fuzzy? Was it left in the refridgerator too long? And why does it expound goo upon being hugged and petted? And why does the fuzzy brownie have legs???

The scariest, eeriest part? Apparently this freaky brown gremlin is named "Fudgems" and you can make him DANCE -- of all things -- on the Domino's website.

We'll file this under: NIGHTMARE FUEL!!!

More Nightmare Fuel

Carrotman!
He came from the ground to battle Mr. Peanut for world domination!

[Live Journal/Vintage Ads]

Nightmare Fuel O' the Day

[Live Journal/Vintage Ads]

Begin Early...Shave Yourself

This baby is so ugly that it falls in to the category I like to call "Nightmare Fuel."

[Live Journal/Vintage Ads]

Just Like the Department Stores, I'm Already Thinking About Christmas

Thanks to Ephemera Now I've gotten into the holiday spirit with these vintage Christmas ads.

You just don't see Santa peddling cancer sticks anymore. Makes me think...if Santa smokes, can you imagine the smell his beard has? Already there's crumbled up cookies and stale milk stuck in there. Add the smell of smoke and it makes me wonder how anyone would want to sit on his lap.

Ooh, sorry Santa. I'm sure you bathe. I mean, there's no reason to think that you don't smell like cinnamon or peppermint. Please don't be mad. I'll be good. Promise.



Is this an ad for a home? Because it looks like it'd be cold in there - er, out there. Is this an ad for neighborhood watch? Because then it's pretty effective.






So Santa delivers gifts even to those children who live on the bottom step to the gates of hell? Sweet, there's hope for me after all.









Don't bet on it.











Oh man, I hope those are Santa's footsteps.









Welcome to my Christmas Nightmare.
I've been looking at this ad for a couple hours, and I still can't figure it out. Was this her son or her husband turned into a snowman? Are those the snowman's clothes beside the freezer? If he wanted to be naked, why'd he leave his hat on? Is this an ad for a snowman's tanning bed? Why doesn't the woman look more frightened? What the eff is that damn snowman smiling at??! And why can't I look away even though it's frightening me the more I look?!?!?!?!

...With that I leave you with a "Merry Christmas!!"