You know you're not in L.A. when...

1. The menu says your sandwich is $4.50, and you only have to pay $4.50. (No sales tax!)
2. People think you're skinny.
3. You can drink the tap water without gagging.
   
4. "Traffic" is going 25 mph on a two-lane highway.
5. You breathe in the air and your lungs don't hurt.
6. There are more trees than there are people.
   
7. The waitress asks the two questions "with gravy?" and "you want that deep-fried?"

I love L.A. ...but Pixie, I miss you already!!