Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Dumpster Drama: Act XIV

Wow, do I regret doing this Roman numeral thingie. Anyhoo...because of the stupid signage on the street of my building, you have to watch where you park. On Thursdays it's one side, on Fridays another, etc. etc.

And on this particular evening I happened to have to park three blocks away because everyone decided to park on the street instead of in the carport. And I - being an utterly poor, non-working bartender-slash-pinup-girl, could not afford the extra $50 a month to have a parking space in the carport. So there it is.

So I'm walking the three blocks in four-inch high heels (which I also later regretted) to my building, and just as I get around the corner I hear raised voices and see flashing lights. Apparently the parking meter dude just left a nice little love note on some guy's car, and the guy was not very happy about it. I could barely make out the words (which shall be represented by [ ]) of what they were saying, because at this point I'm hiding in some bushes, hoping to not get stabbed or shot or somehow caught in the crossfire of this heated argument. (I also edited some of this dialogue.)
Parking Dude: Well I'm sorry [ ] parking in [ ] is clearly posted.
Some Guy: You effing [ ] you mother-effing stupid-ass bee? (Don't know why this was in the form of a question, but...)
Parking Dude: Sir, you are clearly parked [ ] and this zone [ ] restricted --
Some Guy: Well I'm not going to pay the [ ] mother-effer. What are you gonna [ ]?? And [ ] you, and eff you!!
Then Some Guy got into his pickup truck and peeled out of the street, drove through the intersection, and tore up the main street. The Parking Dude got on his walkie talkie and notified somebody - I'm guessing the police - and described the Guy and his vehicle.

All in all I think it's surprising the lengths Some Guy will go to in order to avoid paying a $60 ticket. Then again, this is the length I go to in order to avoid paying the extra 50 bucks to park in my carport.


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